A Year Later

It’s been a year since Dad returned home from the stroke rehab hospital.  He’s still dealing with 12 hours a week of dyalisis which leaves him fatiqued and often depressed, but he and Mom continue to enjoy life’s gifts.  They spend time with friends and family, go to parties, entertain in their home, frequently dine out, and especially enjoy visiting the local park. and river front.  Dad is confined to a wheelchair these days due to stroke related spasticity, so getting around takes more time and effort, but he’s really good at maneuvering!  He and Mom are now supported by two amazing and compassionate home-care aides, Adair and Carmen.  Together they provide 24 hour care for Dad and give Mom the time she deserves to take care of her own needs.  Mom and Dad recently downsized their home, and although my sibs and I helped with the move, it was Mom, at 80, who joyously did most of the unpacking and organizing once they arrived at the new house.  They are now happily nearer friends and more centrally located to community services.  Dad’s most challenging deficit is his severe aphasia which has significantly limited his speech and language abilites.  We’ve all become used to giving him more time to attempt to communicate his thoughts.  He is clear in his head about what he wants to say, but the words just aren’t there to share.  It’s quite frustrating, but, as Dad can and does say, “What can you do?”  He’s eager to change what can be changed but willing to accept what can’t.  Speech therapy has had only limited effect.  Singing sometimes helps…and if it doesn’t help the words flow, at least it’s a way to cheer him up.  For an insightful treatment of what it’s like to live with/love someone with severe aphasia, visit cartoonist extraordinaire Lynn Johnston’s (“For Better of for Worse”) website http://www.fborfw.com/char_pgs/grandpa/index.php?page=letters and read the letters that character Grandpa Jim’s wife Iris has written about her life with Jim.  Also see Lynn’s page about the research she did for the Grandpa Jim storyline http://www.fborfw.com/features/research/index.php?page=stroke.  KUDOs to Lynn for her marvelous work!